“Why can’t I cry?” I said to myself on the sajadah, longing for those tiny droplets to run free from my eyes. But it seems impossible to do so, just impossible. I’ve tried but it’s still not working.
“Why? Why it is so hard?” I stood up from where I sat and went to the mirror to see myself. Through the reflection of the mirror I see the body Allah has borrowed for me. I tried again crying in front of the mirror wanting to witness myself crying. But no. No physical change. No sad face. No heart pumping hard. No nothing. Just my old stiff face full of ignorance. 19 years of ignorance? Maybe. It freaks me out becoming the owner of a dark rusty heart.
Why am I craving so much for just crying? Isn’t crying a sign of weakness? Because only women cry and men don’t? If men cry they are not macho anymore? No no no!
I have a strong desire to cry because crying makes me strong.
Crying is a symbol of weakness?
Everyone has the experience of crying, even the most stone hearted thugs in the world have experienced crying; at least when they were babies, because crying is a gift from Allah for all.
You may retort to me, ‘That guy have not cried all his life’, well I’ll tell you, only abnormal people do not cry. I assure you that every doctor will feel strange if a new born baby have no ability to cry and try their best to make the baby cry. This is because crying is not only limited to feeling sad, but it has a strong relation to the feeling of happy and relief as well. If a baby only cries when feeling sad, that baby is not normal.
Many people claim that crying is a “sign of weakness” or “only women cries” or “men do not” or “childish”. That’s why men will control their emotional state so that they will not look “weak” as they say. How do I know? Because I am a man. As if, when a man cries, people will see a sign of “I am weak. Don’t go near me” or “FYI[1], I’m a woman” or “I’m a little kid” on that persons head. Bear in mind, men are also humans who are created by Allah who; after sharing their problems with someone, will feel peace and relief at heart. So, if a guy cries, that’s not what we call weakness but, to me, as a guy, I will feel relief because if not, I’ll feel bombarded with problems, if I don’t cry, at least I my eyes will be brimming with tears after a nice long pep talk.
Allah has talk about significance of crying many times in the Quran. Allah actually loves those who cry for the sake of Him:
“And they fall upon their faces weeping, and the Qur’an increases them in humble submission” al-Isra’: 109.
Crying also is stated in hadith as those who cry for the sake of Allah is guaranteed paradise:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Seven (people) will be shaded by Allah by His Shade on the Day of Resurrection when there will be no shade except His Shade. (They will be), a just ruler, a young man who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, a man who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears, a man whose heart is attached to mosques (offers his compulsory congregational prayers in the mosque), two men who love each other for Allah’s Sake, a man who is called by a charming lady of noble birth to commit illegal sexual intercourse with her, and he says, ‘I am afraid of Allah,’ and (finally), a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given.”[2]
It is so easy to enter Jannah! Just shed your tears only for Allah!
Crying is a form of cure
The goal of your life is not crying but to attain blessings from Allah. We don’t live to cry but we cry to achieve our ultimate goal. So by crying we will feel a spiritual relief in us.
Other than that crying is also a form of medication. It has its own medical qualities for us to prosper. By crying, not only our sick heart will be cured, diseases related to eyes can also be prevented.
You might wonder what fact proves the theory of crying is a form of cure. Well I’ll share you one. According to the research done by Dr. William Frey; the author of Crying: The Mystery of Tears (Harper & Row), he claims that “Weeping is the body’s response to overload of stress related chemicals and actually helps eliminate toxins.” If we refrain ourselves from crying when the situation needs us to cry, then, we are opening doors for sickness to take control of our body.
He reported to then the NEWS, “The University of Minnesota Psychiatrist and Chemist have found that tears contain hormones related to emotional upset and pain relief. They are known to be released known to be released from the pituitary gland during stress.”
And my advice is what he once said “We should use crying to make us better able to deal with the stress in our environment.”
I may not be a doctor nor a person majoring in allied health (because my major is English :p) but that will not stop me from conveying the truth.
How to cry?
As Muslims we are actually asked to fear Allah. And the side effects of fearing Allah are like crying, our hearts tremble etc. Fearing Allah is not the same as we afraid of ghosts. When we are afraid of ghosts we tend to go away from these (terrifying? not so la) creatures, but when we fear Allah, we are actually going near to Him. Afraid of the dark is normal in our lives, because the mass media plays an important role in doing so, but do we really fear Allah? That’s the question we need to answer.
They prophet Muhammad PBUH can easily broke into tears:
‘Abdullah (b. Mas’ud) reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon (him) asked me to recite the Qur’an. He said: Messenger of Allah, (how) should I recite to you whereas it has been sent down to you? He (the Holy Prophet) said: I desire to hear it from someone else. So I recited Surat al-Nisa’ till I reached the verse: How then shall it be when We shall bring from every people a witness and bring you against them as a witness?” (verse 41). I lifted my head or a person touched me in my side, and so I lifted my head and saw his tears falling (from the Holy Prophet’s eyes).[3]
Even the prophet who was guaranteed Jannah when hears verses of Allah, he will cry.
So how to cry then?
There once a time when a person asked my Xifu, Cikgu Azmi Bahari or known as Abu Umar, on how to cry. Abu Umar seems very easy to shed tears. So Abu Umar answered back, not in the exact wordings, he said that it may be difficult for starters. But as we increase our Iman (faith) and Taqwa (Fear of Allah) gradually, and penetrate our heart slowly, we will cry. In order for us to cry for the sake of Allah is; it actually goes parallel with our Iman and Taqwa. We don’t try to increase, and then our cry is nothing. If our intention is not clear only for Allah, then our cry is not sincere.
Try to let it all go
I am a sentimental person. So when I am in the mood of something I’ll write a poem or short story. So I’ll share with you a time when I wanted to cry so badly but I couldn’t, I just literally can’t. I don’t know why. And I’m so jealous of my friend Abdul Qowy who once said to me “My emotional state is like the sky, whenever it rains, I’ll cry, whenever it is cloudy, I’ll feel gloomy. And whenever it shines, I feel so happy. I just don’t know why I am like that.”
The moment he said that to me one day, you know what I said in my heart, “Rain, storm or shine, I’ll just be the same old guy. Crying is so hard for me. Huh.”
The Sky is crying, are you?
*This is my poem inspired by Harga Hujan itu by Hilal Asyraf and Signs by Boona Mohammed.
As I gaze towards the sky,
it makes me wonder why,
why is the sky turning cloudy?
Is the sky feeling gloomy?
“Oh, it is raining outside” says my little heart,
“Again?” As the rain starts to depart,
trillions of tiny droplets of water,
dashing through the atmosphere,
colliding fiercely onto the terrain,
making typical sounds of the rain.
It has been raining for days,
“Why it has to rain?” my heart says,
my days are filled with water,
if not a drizzle, it may be a downpour or even a thunder.
Scary isn’t it when it rains?
Deaths occurs more than usual,
accidents happen due to slippery roads,
people are not happy as toads,
they say “Rain rain, go away”,
“come back in another day.”
We forgot to start thinking,
the sky is actually crying,
we think we are too good to be true,
we forgot to implement Surah Al-Baqarah: 82,
we fulfilled our lives with laughs and sins,
transgressing bounds with defiant grins.
But this world is full of signs,
from the moon and the skies,
from the bees and the bugs,
makes it need to look up,
and question what’s up.
“Why you deal with this stuff?!”,
“When your spirits a quest!”,
but like thunder this question struck,
all the signs that were sent,
they finally make sense,
you feel the torment,
so you need to repent,
but your heart is cement.
So cry! Soften your heart!
Cry in your tahajjud! Cry for Allah!
Make the repentance your start!
Let it all go because after every rainfall must come a rainbow. Don’t hold back! Let your feelings run through your tears. Insya Allah, He will be your cure!
Conclusion: Let us cry!
Tears can afflict different impacts on people. People are sometimes weakened and strengthen due to weeping. We feel week because the reason we cry is not because of Allah. But if the sole reason we broke into tears is Allah, then I can assure you your tears are tears of strength. It creates a strong drive in your heart.
Well, let us shed our tears only for Allah. Melt down all your egos and make that cry.
We are fortunate to have crying a sunnah and at the same time good for our spiritual and physical health. Other people cry only for health and not accepted as a good deed.
But remember; don’t cry because your boyfriend left you,
but because Allah loves you!
